Over the Hill Survival Knife

Over the Hill Survival Knife

$14.95  $9.95
 Sold out 

When you get to a certain age, just getting out of bed is a test of survival. Why not make things a little easier by using the Over the Hill Survival Knife. This functional utility knife has tools designed to make living out your golden years a bit less hairy, especially since it includes tweezers to pluck out those stray grays and nose hair clippers. Don't worry if memories start to fade, because it includes a key ring, so you can keep it on your belt loop for the nurse to find. Don't wander off aimlessly without one.

- Knife for scraping your dentures

- Prune juice can opener and ingrown toenail remover

- Toothpick for when you're too feeble to floss

- Tweezers to pluck gray hairs (if you have any hair left)

- Pill bottle safety cap opener

- Corkscrew to drink a toast to your advancing age

- Key ring to hang from belt loop so you won't forget where you put it

- Nose hair clippers

- Reading glasses repairer

- Bunion File

Rambo’s Golden Years

In his prime, John Rambo carried a large survival knife, but now that he’s in his golden years and the only blood he’s spilling is to test his sugar levels, he needs the Over the Hill Survival Knife. It has a bevy of tools to make getting old a little easier. It’s even useful in everyday situations not related to being as old as dirt.

Specs, Features and Bragging Rights

- Handy, functional tools

- Perfect gift for the chronologically challenged or retirees

- Hilarious packaging with special uses for old folks

- Compact and easy to store in a fanny pack or extra long tube socks

Who Would Love the Over the Hill Survival Knife?

Getting older brings on a whole list of unique challenges, but you can make it a little easier and bring a smile to a your friends’ faces with the Over the Hill Survival Knife. Anyone getting on in years or getting close to retirement will love this knife. It has a million uses and none of them involve Preparation A or mentholated ointments.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this a working survival knife?

Yes, while the tools may have some fun old timer uses, they are fully functional and able to be used for everyday uses. The outside is black and designed for over the hill users, but don’t let that fool you. You can use it to screw things in, clip things…and whatever else you’d use a far less entertaining survival knife for.

Is it just for over the hill people?

While everything is geared to the elderly, the knife can be used by adults of any age. As long as they have a sense of humor and need for tiny scissors, the light is green.

Why We Love It

— Jessi, Funslurp Buyer Jessi, Funslurp Buyer


1 Reviews
Sort by
Highest rated
  • Josh M. Aug 18, 2011
    This over the hill knife was the perfect gift for my dad. It is hard for us to find something that he really needs, so this was funny and useful for him. This survival knife was a great gift for your old friends.
    Was this review ...?