How to Survive Your Marriage System

How to Survive Your Marriage System

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Spousal Support

When the wife or hubby nags nonstop, you need something to save your sanity before you start dialing the divorce lawyer. Our How to Survive Your Marriage System keep the endless torrent of insults, accusations and outright lies from invading your delicate sensitivities. Think of it as really cheap marriage counseling.

Who would love the How to Survive Your Marriage System?

Anyone who’s been married for more than 48 hours can find a use for them. They’re priceless when that special someone begins rattling on about the latest football game or a mile-long Honey-do list. These handy ear protectors were specially designed for anyone who loves their spouse, but just not what he or she says all the time. Everyone deserves a little peace and quiet, and the How to Survive Your Marriage System does the trick.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will this actually help me survive my marriage?

Depends. If your primary complaint is a nagging spouse, then they’ll provide you with some peace and quiet. If your significant other watches endless hours of shows about people offing their spouses with a pad of paper, pen and an excited gleam in his or her eye, ditch the muffs and run, yo.

Do they work with kids too?

Ah, children, the magical angelic little demons that don’t come with a mute button. Yes, they will help drown out the annoying sounds of videogames, teenage music and know-it-all attitudes. You might need a second pair for your spouse, because they deserve a little slice of sanity too. Silence can help bring you both even closer together.

Why We Love It

— Jessi, Funslurp Buyer Jessi, Funslurp Buyer


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