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Verbal Diarrhea Protection System

Verbal Diarrhea Protection System

$8.99
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Verbal Diarrhea Protection System

There’s little worse than knowing you’re headed into a situation where you’re going to be subjected to a never-ending barrage of opinions, gossip, and vulgarity against your will. With the Verbal Diarrhea Protection System, you can suit up and dilute the ear pollution! Simply remove the easy-to-use filtration system from the package, apply to head, and strap into place with the built-in adhesive tabs! Suddenly, all the obnoxious blathering from now-it-alls, jerks, and soap box heroes is a muffled memory.

BUT THAT’S NOT ALL…

The Verbal Diarrhea Protection System works in reverse! If you’re about to walk into a room where speaking your mind could get you into hot water, you’re protected with this revolutionary technology. No more opening mouth and inserting foot for you! Slip into safety with your word vomit filter, and any controversial opinions, random swears, secrets, and radical honesty will stay with you until you’re out of earshot!

Specs, Features, and Bragging Rights…

  • Contains one Verbal Diarrhea System
  • Keeps out opinions, vulgarity, gossip, and other forms of bullshit
  • Keeps in secrets, swears, unpopular opinions, and hides telling facial expressions
  • Awesome for meetings, sporting events, family reunions, and so much more
  • Give the gift of social filtration for Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Easter, White Elephant gift exchanges, Secret Santa, or just because you think it’ll help
  • NOVELTY USE ONLY

A Thoughtful Gift for Everyone

If you know anyone who communicates with their mouth or facial expressions or is sensitive to other people’s mindless mutterings, you’ll be doing them a favor with the Verbal Diarrhea Protection System. This funny diaper gag gift is a hilarious idea for birthdays, over-the-hill or retirement gifts, gift exchanges, or just because you know someone can use a laugh.

Why We Love It

— Jessi, Funslurp Buyer Jessi, Funslurp Buyer

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