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Calm the F Down Cotton Candy

Calm the F Down Cotton Candy

$5.99
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Calm the Eff Down Pink Cotton Candy

Adulthood is stressful and every grown-up can use a bit of a timeout to relax and recenter. Still, telling someone to calm down has never effectively de-escalated a situation, but rather invites an epic meltdown or throat punch. Calm the Fck Down Candy is the fancy, funny, and totally socially acceptable way to tell your family and friends that they should take a break before they freak the F out…even more.

This sarcastic novelty gift was specifically designed for divas, drama queens and kings, teachers, parents, teenagers, politicians, coworkers, bosses, conspiracy theorists, best friends, sisters, brothers, over-excited relatives that make family reunions uncomfortable, pet owners, folks who ask for the manager, in-laws, and people named Glen.

Why We Love It

— Jessi, Funslurp Buyer Jessi, Funslurp Buyer

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