Donald Trump Survival Kit

Donald Trump Survival Kit

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Donald Trump Survival Kit

Donald Trump’s campaign for president has changed the landscape of political races, and as it comes to a close, the American people have to make it through somehow.  If you’re inundated by Trump, whether it’s from his own speeches, or even parodies on SNL and other television shows, then you need the Donald Trump Survival Kit. It’s the only thing that can keep you safe from his brand of making America great again. The handy set comes with Donald Trump Sanitizer, Donald Trump Toilet Paper and the Donald Trump Bullshit Protector. It’s everything you need to survive the Trumpocalypse.

Make Your Day Great Again

Many people want to hide in a hole until the Trump campaign is over, but bunkers are hard to find. The Donald Trump Survival Kit is designed to keep his rhetoric away until after the elections. Once the people vote, he’ll either be president and that bunker seems like a good idea, or he isn’t and can go back to being a third-rate reality TV star.

Who Would Love The Donald Trump Survival Kit?

This is a perfect gift for anyone who can’t stand hearing or seeing Donald Trump. There’s no getting away from him since media outlets are putting his face in front of us every day. There’s always that fear that one day what he says might actually start making sense to you or someone you love. Don’t let that happen; keep your Donald Trump Survival Kit handy.

Frequently Asked Questions

Will this work if Trump wins?

The good news is that even after the election, the Donald Trump Survival Kit continues to work its magic. Anytime he’s on television or crosses your mind, you have the tools to keep him out. Whether its drowning out his words with the Donald Trump Bullshit Protector, cleaning his ideas off your skin with the sanitizer, or putting his ideas where they belong with the toilet paper.

Is that his real hair?

That’s an answer known only to a few people, but the odds are against it. If his hair scares you, then the Donald Trump Survival Kit can protect you from that as well. We may never know what animal is resting on his head, but soon it won’t matter. It will either be the presidential toupee or just another rug.

Why We Love It

— Jessi, Funslurp Buyer Jessi, Funslurp Buyer


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