Unicorn Snot Stress Relief Putty

Unicorn Snot Stress Relief Putty

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Unicorn Snot Stress Putty

When life gives you lemons, grab some Unicorn Snot. The snot of these mystical creatures is known to relieve stress, thanks to its oozy, gooey nature and ability to withstand repeated smooshings. When a unicorn gets a cold, pounds of this stuff shoots out with every sneeze. We just package it up and send it off to loving new homes. You might think something like this would be disgusting, but nothing about unicorns is gross. They poop rainbows and shoot out stress relieving snot. How is that not just totally awesome?

Snot Rocket to Paradise

Unicorns have long been the harbingers of good fortune and mystical energy, and you can bring your own little piece of that home. It may not be a mythical horn or part of its majestic mane, but Unicorn Snot is still pretty magical and fun. When your boss gets on your nerves, get it out and pretend your kneading his face into the ground. Stress relieved!

Who Would Love Unicorn Snot?

There are countless people who collect everything about unicorns, from figurines to plush dolls. They’ll love getting this green glob of whimsy for stress emergencies. It’s like a security blanket, but covered in mucus. It’s also great for anyone who needs a good way to relieve stress after a long day of fighting dragons and orcs.

Frequently Asked Questions

Are any Unicorns harmed in the making of the snot?

No, we simply head over to a Unicorn farm in Scotland during the cold and flu season with a few buckets and lots of facial tissues. Our expert magical mucus retrieval specialists stand in front of the majestic animals and tickle their noses until they sneeze. It’s all extremely humane, albeit messy.

Is it really okay to give Unicorn Snot as a gift, because, like, boogers?

Not only is it okay, if we were all being honest with ourselves, we could admit it was preferred. How often does someone care enough to celebrate life’s greatest occasions, like birthdays, holidays and promotions, with something as unique and thoughtful as Unicorn Snot Stress Putty? That’s a gift from the heart, and the nose. Double special!

Why We Love It

— Jessi, Funslurp Buyer Jessi, Funslurp Buyer


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