Dieting on your list of resolutions? We can help!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

One of the most common New Year’s resolutions is to lose the muffin top. This girl is right there with you! That’s why I’ve put together a few of our best dieting tools to help you (and me) get a great start on our 2014 weight loss journey.

The first thing you need to do is ditch the temptation. Instead of hauling your cookies to the bakery and grabbing gourmet cupcakes, head to Fun Slurp and stock up on some delicious Cupcake Lip Balm! You get all the sinful cakey scrumptiousness with none of the calories. Plus, as a bonus, your lips will be soft, velvety and mighty inviting to other lips. Now that’s sweet!

cupcake lip balm

Then, if you’re a wine lover, you should probably vow to limit yourself to one glass a day. That’s the healthy recommendation anyway, right? The Full Bottle Wine Glass is totally like that whole two birds with one stone thing when it comes to drinking the vino healthy-style.

full bottle wine glass

Of course, changing your eating habits by adding bushels of leafy greens is a key element to healthy living, so you’ll need to make sure you have the right tools on hand. Like, say, our Hand Tossed Salad Servers. And, since it’s so important, you probably would do well to grab a backup set of Inset Salad Servers just in case. They’re wicked compact and great for taking along to potlucks so you can share your kale and spinach salad with your 20 closest dieting pals.

fun salad serversFinally, you can kick your diet into high gear with our Easiest Diet Utensils. Their unique design limits calorie intake on an epic level. Those babies will practically frustrate the pounds away! easiest diet utensils
So there you have it – weight loss Fun Slurp style! We’re happy to do our part to make your 2014 health resolutions come true with these handy dieting tools!

10 Ways We Can Help You With Your Resolutions

We know you did it, so come on out and admit. Even though you vowed never to make another list of New Year’s resolutions…you just couldn’t help yourself. We know the score, because we’ve been there.

And because we have unparalleled generosity of spirit, we’ve even put together a little collection of companion products to carry you through the rough patches and keep you on track.

Resolution #1: I resolve to lose weight.

Companion Product: Ass Look Big Gum

This will keep you track with your dieting. Every time you get a craving, just take a good long look at the box and your hunger pangs will turn into a gag reflex.

Resolution #2: I resolve to patch things up with dear, old dad.

Companion Product: Communicate Effectively with Your Father Breath Spray

It’s that little shot of confidence you need to get a good rap session started. Well, either that or a little hard liquor…but this travels better.

Resolution #3: I resolve to cut back my caffeine intake.

Companion Product: Mocha Mints

They taste awesome and will get by in the long, withdrawal-ridden minutes it takes to walk from on corner Starbucks to another.

Resolution #4: I resolve to meet the love of my life.

Companion Product: Inflatable Tammy Doll

She’ll always be interested in what you have to say and won’t make a big stink every time you cut the cheese.

Resolution #5: I resolve to leave my heinous, no good job.

Companion Product: Savin’ to Quit My Job Tin Bank

In this economy, you can never be too safe. It pays to have a nest egg before your boss job disappears.

Resolution #6: I resolve to finally buy her the huge rock she deserves.

Companion Product: 100 Carat Diamond Ring

Please. It’s either a loan for a house or to fund that monstrous bling she’s been eying. Homeless or stoneless. Tough choice.

Resolution #7: I resolve to tell him how I really feel about that cubic zirconia ring he tried to pass off as a real diamond–like I wouldn’t get it appraised.

Companion Product: Poop Bouquet

Fake turd for a fake ring. Next time he might not be so lucky.

Resolution #8: I resolve to always have $100 on hand–just in case.

Companion Product: 100 Dollar Bill Coin Purse

It’s all about the Benjamins….and the Washingtons and Licolns inside.

Resolution #9: I resolve to perfect my golf swing.

Companion Product: The Golfer’s Crotch Hook

You’ll learn FAST. Future generations depend on it.

Resolution #10: I resolve to really bring home the bacon this year.

Companion Product: The Ultimate Bacon Package

It may not pay the bills, but it will keep your teeth squeaky clean and your car will never smell the same.