Who is your favorite person to prank?

farting butt bank

Back in 2007, I picked up a random bizarre knick-knack at a resale shop and planted it in my mom’s house when she wasn’t looking. I just wondered how long the weird windmill would be on her shelf before she noticed it. Astonishingly, she called the very next day and interrogated me like a pro. Sleuthing is mom superpower after all.

That first prank birthed years of hilarity as my siblings and their spouses joined in on the game. Whenever we’re all there for a visit at the same time, someone anonymously leaves a strange “gift” for my mom. It absolutely drives her INSANE.

You see, my mom is one of those people that knows exactly what’s in her house and keeps everything ridiculously organized. Everything has a place and has to make sense to her. Leaving a farting butt bank amongst her collection of chihuahua figurines is enough to spur on a full-on manhunt that leaves all of us rolling.  I know, because we’ve totally done it.

Do you have someone you love to pick on with great gag gifts and pranks? You know–the one who is always sure to freak out…but eventually laugh with you later? Do you have an ongoing prank that’s stood the test of time?

Tell us your favorite prank stories in the comments below!

How to Avoid Funky Old Lady Kisses During the Holidays

onion ring breath mints

November has hit, which means the holidays are just around the corner. Along with the delicious waist-expanding eats and lame snazzy holiday sweaters comes a boatload of family get-togethers, complete with awkward, old lady kisses from funky, Aunt Tilda who just so happens to still be wearing her Cosby-inspired cardigan from last year. Like…continuously.

There are two things you can do when Aunt Tilda and her catfish-whisker mustache start hobbling toward you.

  1. Stand there and take it like a man…possibly even feigning a smile.
  2. Run away and risk losing that sweet dollar bill she always puts in a used Christmas card she received sometime in the 1950s.

You’re not a big fan of smelling her stagnant musky perfume up close, but times are tough, and a buck’s a buck, right?

There is a solution. Rather than offending her with a breach of etiquette and chancing the loss of that sweet moola, how about making that smooch seem a little less attractive from the jump?

You’re own special scent…

When you see Aunt Tilda waddling your way, spritz a little Liquid Ass in the air. She won’t make it within 10 feet of you without being inspired to shamble in a different direction.

Flash her that winning smile…

While most smiles are inviting to the over-the-hill crowd, giving her an innocent grin while wearing a set of Hillbilly Teeth, might just change her mind. In fact, it’s likely you’ll find $2 in your card this year, because even Aunt Tilda knows a good dentist isn’t cheap.

The ole lip balm and funky mint combo…

If she’s braver than you thought and you’ve failed to repulse her enough, it’s time to take some extra precautions. This is exactly why everyone should carry Wasabi Lip Balm and Onion Ring Breath Mints. Layer on the lip balm and munch down no less than three oniony mints. STAT. When she grabs your not so chubby cheeks like you’re still eight years old, give her an exaggerated and over breathy “Hellloooo.” When that funk hits, you’re home free.

There you have it. Sometimes, when you have to make a choice between a crisp and spendy dollar bill and that smooch o’ stench, you have to resort to a little innocent mischief for the best possible outcome.

No harm…no foul.