What dog are you?

Have you ever had the burning desire to find out what kind of dog you are?

If you can’t stand another sleepless night wondering what breed your inner pooch is, then you can head over to What-Dog.net and find out. All you have to do is upload a picture of yourself, and the site will instantly end the mystery. They even share key traits in your puppy nature.

According to What-dog.net, I'm a wiener dog.

According to What Dog, I’m a dachshund, clearly making me the big wiener.

What dog are you? Share in the comments below.

Emergency Mustaches – Because you’ll need them someday

Everyone needs an emergency kit filled with tape, gauze and, of course, Emergency Mustaches.

Emergency-Mustaches box

What? You think that’s crazy? You don’t want to be unprepared when a mustache emergency arises. Our Emergency Mustache could just save your life. Here are a few situations that could occur at any given time — will you be prepared?

1. Wild West Showdown: If you’re walking down the street and suddenly accosted by an evil cowboy looking to steal your land, you’ll need the Wyatt Earp style mustache. It commands a gunslinger’s respect and might get you out of a scrape without even having to brandish your six shooter.

2. Impromptu Porno: It happens all the time. Sitting at the bus stop, waiting for your ride, when scantily clad women and a camera crew show up begging you to be in their porno. Always one to help someone out, you agree, but you realize you left your best porn stache at home. You can’t be a proper woodsman without a gnarly porn mustache. Think about it.

3. The Creepy Dude: You know that weird creepy guy who’s always hitting on you as gag from the cloud of bourbon and cigarette funk that surrounds him? Stay off his radar by slapping a sweet stache whenever he’s around. Problem solved.

Get your must-have box of Emergency Mustaches on FunSlurp.com.

Don’t let your willy get chilly this winter!

The wind is blowing some wild storms around, and it won’t be long before you’re waist deep in the white stuff. Don’t head out into the blistering cold without proper winter gear! Even with coats, hats, mittens and thermal underwear on, it only takes one strong, frosty blow before you’re frozen to the bone!

This year, be prepared for the long, hard winter to come with our hot new cold weather pal — The Willy Warmer! Your toasty, shrink resistant nethers will be happy you did!

willy warmer

Get the Willy Warmer and sacks full of other hilarious gag gifts at FunSlurp.com.

For your Friday: A flaming bagpipe, a leather kilt and some AC/DC

I’ve been puzzling all morning about how I could best send the FunSlurp.com community into the weekend and then I happened upon this video. There’s really no better inspiration to let your hair down and get the weekend started right than watching the mohawked “Badpiper” pump out AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” on a wicked flaming bagpipe.

In a leather kilt.

With appropriately timed pelvic thrusts.

Happy Friday!

Get all your unique gags and gifts in our store.

Gasp! Naughty Golf Gag Gifts

Some people like to live an a bubble believing that golf is a gentlemen’s sport, but for the rest of us it just another opportunity for some off color hilarity. We support that naughty notion because stuffiness is lame and we simply don’t do lame.

If you’re shopping for your favorite golf buddy, you don’t want to be locked into seriously boring birthday gifts, do you? If you’re rowdy on the course, an everyday present will seem like you weren’t even trying. Let his grandma buy his next polo and get him one of these “Don’t tell the wife” worthy gifts.

Golfer’s Ball Washer

ball washer

It’s a fact that clean balls are much more accurate and lead to more impressive games. Better safe than sorry.

The Golfer’s Crotch Hook

crotch hook

Talk about inspiration for the perfect swing. Ouch! Your pal’s gonads and golf game will be be working together as one…or else!

Naughty Golf “Tease”

golf tease

Teeing off with these bodacious babes probably is probably frowned upon by the golf course management. But, seriously, who cares?

Genuine Oh Shit Balls

oh shit golf balls

Your little brother means well, but he’s just not going to be the next Tiger Woods. In fact, the only thing he excels at on the course is stringing together new profanities when he tanks on another hole. These funny golf balls were practically made with him in mind.

Old Golfer’s Towel

old golfer's towel

When Uncle Ray is having his retirement party at the country club, it’s the perfect time to reward him for all his dirty jokes on the course with this golf towel.

For these and a whole mess of other funny golf pranks and gifts, head to our Golfer’s Gag Gifts page.

 

10 Funny Octopus Pictures

Do you ever just randomly put a phrase in a search engine, just to see what’s lurking in the murky waters of the Internet? Like, say, “funny octopus?” I do. And, no, I’m not afraid to admit that I need a hobby. And friends.

Anyhoo, if you’re ever curious about what funny octopus pictures you’ll find around the web, this should satisfy that bizarre curiosity.

octopus curse you

cut in half octopus

octopus slap

octopus surrender

octopus ten tickles

octopus tophat

octopus touching me

octopus well armed

onward human

octopus drunk

Which octopus picture is your favorite? What has been your funniest random Internet search?

FunSlurp.com – Slurp up the fun!

Photo source – Google search

Do you live a Facebooked life?

If this sounds familiar, you live a truly Facebooked life…

Your alarm goes off and you reach for your phone to check for messages and make sure you weren’t tagged in any embarrassing pictures from last night.

You hop in the shower and try to think up a funny status to show everyone how awesomely awesome you feel this morning. You stop to pose for your Facebook Shower Curtain‘s profile pic…cheeeeese!

facebook shower curtainYou grab a bagel and some coffee and read through your friends’ random status updates. To your delight, three of your friends are also eating bagels. You drop a comment about your bagel which spurs a heated debate about whether “everything” bagels are superior to all other bagels, because, well, they have everything. About 30 posts into the thread you agree to disagree and jet out the door.

Gridlock was hell and you’re late to work. You hope to slip in, but your boss is standing right by the time cards. He’s staring at you disapprovingly over a piping hot cup of coffee, no doubt sprinkled with extra disdain. You notice the Thumbs up Facebook Cufflinks that brown-noser Martin got him for Christmas are totally thumbs down. You’re freakin’ screwed.

thumbs down facebook cufflinksYou finally settle into your cubicle and turn on your computer. While waiting for the relic to load up, you check Facebook on your phone. Ohhhhh…the recipe for chicken enchiladas that your college roommate just posted looks like a spicy slice of heaven. You share it #YUM and then put on your headset to get down to business.

Just before you head out for a coffee break the office mail cart goes around. Boom! Suddenly your inbox is stacked high with memos, reports and requests for more memos and reports. On the top is a note from your boss about today’s unexcused absence. Dude! It was only 20 minutes! You mutter a couple choice phrases under your breath and, in a moment of sheer rebellion, stamp it with the Facebook Dislike Stamp, crunch it up and toss it in the trash (before the boss could see what you did).

facebook like and dislike stamps

Over lunch you check for any updates on what’s happening tonight and message your mom that you’ll be by to mow her lawn on Sunday. The rest of the day goes on without incident except the occasional evil eyes from Martin and your boss. When it’s time to punch out, you’re the first one in line — let the weekend commence.

Before you’ve even walked to your car, you’ve liked three pictures of cats all bearing some witty TGIF sentiment, plus you’ve firmed up your dinner plans with some pals and checked out what’s happening on the Fun Slurp fan page.

When you get home, you find your fridge covered with Facebook Sticky Notes from your roommates telling you to pick up all the groceries that magically disappeared while you were at work, the doctor’s office confirmed your appointment for Monday and your grandma called to let you know she didn’t approve of your Facebook status – but she did like the cute cats.

facebook sticky notes

You hurry to get ready for your night out, remembering to update your newsfeed to let everyone know you’ve got big plans, and then head out. The rest of the night is a blur of Instagram images and crazy updates.

There’s no doubt, about it, you live a totally Facebooked life.

 

 

 

 

The Best Type Of Prank: The Fake Snake Prank

I don’t know why, but scaring the crap out of your friend or family member or random neighbor is hilarious.  It never fails in the realm of prankdom.  And if you want to scare someone (and point at them like the bully in the Simpsons and exclaim Ha Ha!), we have the perfect item: the six-foot fake snake.fake snake pic

Snakes scare the crap out of me; indeed, snakes scare everyone.  Seriously, how scary is that fake snake pic?  Really, freakin’ scary, am I right?

And snakes scare people because, quite frankly, they are scary.  Snakes slither–which is scary—and they hiss—which is scary—and snakes kill people—which…well you get the point.  Snakes demand respect, like Ali G.  And there you have it: a fake snake is the key ingredient to a solid prank.  But how do you use it?

First, you obviously will need to buy the fake snake.

Second, once you get the fake snake, you then need to set up the prank, and you need to make the prankee (person you want to prank) think snakes are on the loose.  By this I mean put them on edge.  You can call and pretend to be animal control and say there has been reports of snakes being found in the yard or people’s bathrooms.  Or you can just tell your friend “hey, did hear?  There have been snakes on the loose.”  Subtle, yet effective.

fake snake

Then hide the snake.  Hide it somewhere that will freak the prankee out, like in their bathtub or in the back of the closet or in their car or, do it Hollywood, and put it on a plane.

Then you wait.  You will know the prankee found the snake when your friend starts screaming or when your wife attacks you for hiding a fake snake in their one-year old kid’s car seat.  That’s also when you know to laugh hysterically.  Isn’t fear hilarious?